Due to a somewhat archaic belief that alcoholism is inherited I avoid drinking when I am sad, mad, numb, or in general hurt. I have a fear that I will follow down the same path that my biological father did. Largely I have stuck to my rule with one exception from years long ago.

The past few days have been a oddity for me. Not bad per-say. I have started working again and things are looking up. And yet I am in such a fog. It is like my eyes are so heavy they will fall out of the socket. Yesterday I was trying on dresses for a upcoming wedding and scratched my eye. As a result I was not up for derby practice. Today I made a unexpected choice. In an attempt to lighten the mood I opened a bottle of Sundown Wheat and settled in for a night of NCIS. This locally bottled beer is quickly becoming my preferred brew.

Since leaving the military way of life NCIS has become a relic of the way life used to be. No it really is nothing like the military life - but you take what you can get.

Since my evening 'meditation' I do find myself feeling a bit as if the weight on my shoulders is a little lighter. This will not become a habit, but it is nice to breathe a little easier.