10 years since 1999
10 years since my senior year
10 years since the STUCO blood drive
10 years since Columbine
10 years since the school evacuations
10 years since wild accusations
10 years since empty threats and hollow fear
10 years since BAPD guarded the senior assembly from every door and hall
10 years since we changed
10 years since I chose to not live my life in fear

Some world events shape your life, some days in history you will never forget where you were or what you were doing. For me these days start at Clinton's first inauguration, OKC bombing, Diana's death, Columbine, 9/11, and most recently Obama's election.

I would say Columbine shaped me in so many ways I face my life. It was my senior year. I had just walked into my English lit class and it was on the TV. The weeks that came after lead to how I face tragedy to this day.

I watched as my school was threatened that the same would happen to us. Parents called their children out of class for their safety. My friends who were not 'normal' - who dressed differently were targeted as the ones fueling this fear. I saw each of them being sent to the office to face a battery of questions. In tenth grade I had a history teacher who brought to life the Red Scare, then my junior year I had stage managed our production of Aurthur Millers the Crucible. To me this was the same injustice.

I clearly remember the blood drive where the entire school was evacuated because of a bomb scare. We all sat out on the baseball field while BAPD SWAT searched each room. I felt like a sitting duck - I wanted to leave. Then a week later was the final assembly of the year, the senior assembly. It had to be rescheduled due to a threat, and the BAPD was standing at each door fully armed, parents would not allow students to attend school - fear was the predominate feeling. I was given the option by my mom to miss school, I declined. The pep assembly was quiet, almost silent. We had to sit with our teachers like we did in elementary school. The end of the year pep assembly had been such a riot my junior year, this was such a let down. I made up my mind that day that I would never allow fear to prevent me from living my life. This is a theme that has resurfaced, first at my graduation, then 9/11, and during my time as a navy wife.

Now the students at my school wear id badges around their necks, I can only imagine so many other things have changed since then. I hope that Columbine taught the larger 'us' more than how to live in fear, I hope someone other than me can look back on this and say it shaped who they are for the better. So many lives were lost.