It is really weird that now we have moved home to OK and I feel homesick.

The weird part is I am now homesick for Florida and Virginia.

Mostly homesick for the haze gray way of life. Not the deployments, but the camaraderie and the safety that came with it. The friends who shared mutual feelings, goals, and beliefs.

You knew that parties were going to have lots of booze and tobacco. That's it. Someone might have their kid running the keg, but over all it was innocent drinking and fun. Nothing contraband. You took care of and looked out for one another. No worries.

I thought that after high school people had grown up/beyond drugs. How Naive.

Since that time I have discovered that is not the case. To be honest after 2 years I am still reeling. All ages still do it. It feels like outside of a military structure I cannot escape people who do not find these substances as boring, juvenile, and outright stupid. I do not view these people partaking in this to be stupid. I do see it as a choice they make. A choice I wish to not be involved in.

Please understand. I do not think I am better than any of the people making the choice to be involved with this. I do not feel I have any right to tell someone what they can or cannot do in their home. Likewise please never bring this into my home.

Also please understand. I am getting older. My health is more of a concern. I am more picky about where I place myself. I prefer bars that are nonsmoking. The same is true for homes I frequent. I am tired of smelling like ash tray perfume on the weekends.

I suppose I write this as a plea for understanding. I do not consider myself as a self righteous person, but I feel I am perceived that way largely due to my stance on this subject. This feeling has become both frustrating and tiring. This is after all my body, my only body. I cannot exchange if for a new one when functions decline. I must care for it. I already have knees that bear a strong likeness to rice krispys (snap, crackle, and pop). I am drinking less and working out more. If I want to stay a well oiled machine I require regular maintenance and to stay away from things that might dull my senses.

With Grants lifestyle changes come many of my own. We are in this together. We must help one another now so that our golden years will be just that, golden. I do not expect those around us to undertand, but please support us in this and respect our decisions as we do yours.