Season Two, Bout 2
"Mother Of All Bouts"

May 13th, 2007
Virginia Beach

The Dominion Derby celebrated their Mothers Day afternoon by pitting their newest team, the St. Brawli Girls, against the savvy, veteran Femmes Fatales, in sixty minutes of flat track roller derby action. The Femmes were skating without team captain, Pretty Skate Machine, pivot extraordinaire Cutthroat KC, and bloqueadora poda (power blocker, sorta) Pachuca Loca, but bolstered their roster with dynamic newcomers Spontaneous Combustya and Dipsomaniac, as well as the familiar face of Shannanigans, a.k.a. The Ruffian. Meanwhile, it was not only the Brawli Girls debut bout, but also the debut of Brawli rookies Freaken Jersey, Skateful Dread and Rip Tide Ride-Her. The BG's also enlisted the help of Asian Chow Down, a.k.a. Asian Chow Down, to help thwart the covert operations of the Femmes.

The upstart Brawli Girls came out quickly, with the one-two punch of T. Rex Ya Face and Tsunami Tsue alternating at jammer and building a 32-20 lead after four jams. A Brawli Girls upset was in the brewing, but only until Holly GoBiteMe toed the jammer line for the Femmes and skated a 15-0 jam over former teammate Sunset Vixen, who struggled to break through the pack, or out of the penalty box. The penalty box became familiar territory for many a skater in the first period, though, as referees Hailey Hawkeye and Nigel Toughnails led in the calling of a Dust Devil-esque 92 penalties in the first period, which resulted in 17 minutes of penalty time served between the two teams. With the Femmes often skating short due to penalties, the Brawli Girls were able keep the game close, narrowly trailing 52-48 heading into the last jam of the period. Rookie sensation Dipsomanic sabotaged the BG's hopes to skate into the locker room with the lead, though, running off an 8-0 jam over St. Brawli Girl captain, Grand Master Crash, making the score 60-48 Femmes, going into the first intermission.

Due to penalty worries after the first period, the second period was skated much cleaner and under control. Through six low scoring jams, the Brawli Girls had trimmed the FF lead to 10, trailing 80-70. Then, however, it was the super spies who began to pour it on, earning lead jammer status in four of the period's final five jams, and allowing them to push the score out to 106-80. Highlighting the Femmes' run was a 10-0 jam skated by Holly GoBiteMe over another former teammate, Tsunami Tsue, who began the jam in the penalty box, and got out just in time to see Holly call it off. Although a cleaner period, penalty problems still loomed large, especially for the Femmes. At the period's end, the FF were potentially only eight penalties away from having to complete with four skaters.

The Femmes, still not content to sit on their 26 point lead in the 3rd period, further tightened the stranglehold on the Brawli Girls, by pitching shutouts in three of the period's first six jams, while aggressively pushing their lead out to 44 points. However, in the eighth jam of the period, the BG's Tsunami Tsue took full advantage of FF jammer Dipsomanic's visit to the penalty box, by busting out a 16 point, triple grand slam. Tsue's two minute jamming clinic proved to be the highlight of the bout, but was too little late for the beer-toting beauties, as the Femmes skated out the clock in final three jams to secure a 28-point victory, 157-129.

The combo of T. Rex Ya Face and Tsunami Tsue led the way for the Brawli Girls, jamming in 21 of the bouts 32 jams and scoring 113 of their team's 129 points. Dipsomanic stole the show for the Femmes Fatales in her rookie debut, skating an amazing 14 jams, earning lead jammer status in 8 of them, scoring 76 points, and tallying 4 grand slams. The opportunistic Holly GoBiteMe was tops in point differential, outscoring the Brawli Girls' jammers 36-8 when she dawned the stars for the Femmes. Through an agreement between the captains, the disqualification criteria for committing minor penalties was upped to 20, but that didn't stop three Femmes and two Brawli Girls from reaching the mark by the bout's end.

The Femmes Fatales' win evens up their record on the season to 1-1. The St. Brawli Girls are now 0-1 in league play and will face the Dirty Diesel Darlins (1-0) on Sunday, July 22nd.

- Nigel Toughnails Head Referee
- Dominion Derby Girls (WFTDA Div. III)