It hit me this week.
Since the start of my derby retirement I have found one thing to be true. As each day passes I hate my cell phone less and less.
Now don't get me wrong, I am still not a fan of the damn thing. However I am far less likely to verbally assault the air at the slightest chirp it makes. Today's project may be reevaluating ring tones for something a wee bit calmer to help with this shift.
I really think with derby I was just feeling too - responsible, stressed, and tired. It was hard to see at the time. I still love the sport, but some things are better loved at a distance. Just like bears.
Some times you can care so much about something that it consumes you (Pun intended). It starts to almost become your identity, not a part of your personality. At this time I am fighting to once again find my identity. A well rounded representation of who I am. My personality finger print.
For those of you who thought I would not follow thru I would like to inform you that I did it.
I retired from derby.
I am now off from the rink for the summer, save a possible reappearance Aug 9.
Life is looking pretty calm for the warm months. What a relief!
Yep, it happened again. I am left holding the bag.
One thing you need to know about me if you dont know this already. If I tell you I will do somthing. I will do it. Period. I have made a commitment.
All too often I am reminded that others do not value thier word and integrity like I do.
Way back in December I made the commitment to be the Captian for Relay For Life. Since that time I was laid off, found a new job, and picked up a few side jobs along the way. Life became more complicated. I chose to retire from derby, but knew I had made a commitment that I must see to the end date. This is why I announced my retirement 6 weeks ago. Even derby reirement somthing that would make my life a little easier was put on hold because I gave my word.
Today I learned that my co-capt will be extending her vacation past the date of relay. Now all relay responsibility will be resting firmly on my shoulders. The fun part now is adjusting my friday to accomidate being in two places at once.
Help Me Find a Cure.
Once again I will be leading the Team of Green Country Roller Girls as we raise money to fund the cancer research. Please consider donating to this cause. We all know someone at risk or someone who has fought this fight. Now is the time to find a way to end this disease.
Whew,
After this last week I just feel beat, tired, and ready for the next few weeks to pass quickly.
As you may know I am retiring from derby.
This weekend I reffed one of my final bouts. It confirmed for me that it is time for me to retire.
With all the goings on this weekend. (Rink lock in, Mayfest, Working Sat, make - up mothers day with Grants Family, Chruch, Fellowship dinner, helping Grandma, and the bout) I just feel like I did not even have a weekend.
The lawn needs mowing, and I just want to lie in the hammock and relax.
In the farming / gardening front we seem to have taken on quite alot. We are up to 4 tomato plants, 3 peppers, spearmint, and citronella plants (x5). Will I never learn about too much of a good thing?
I made the announcement Friday. I will be retiring from derby, effective June 8.
Working 2 jobs and derby was taking too much time away from my family - and as a result stressing me out. I always said if it ever came to the point where derby was effecting my life with my family derby would loose.
It is time to slow down, take a deep breath, and RELAX.
I wont be disappearing entirely, I will likely become a rabid fan, or announcer.
The weekend was simply packed to the gills with friends and family. What more can I hope for? Saturday we attended a book signing for the book of Grants late (1965) Grandfathers poetry. I was more than a little confused as to how a author who has been dead over 40 years would sign the book. Little did we know that Grant and his Dad would be doing the signing since he did the data entry and his father compiled the poems. While we were there I played with the dogs, a Germain Sheppard, Anatolian Sheppard, great Pyrenees, and 2 Pitt bulls. We went home and Grant crashed out.
Dinner brought a happy event, I had dinner with Rose (a very dear friend from my sophomore year at OSU) and her husband Justin (incidentally I sold rose to Justin at a date auction - this led to their first date), Kathy (Justin's mom), and the Hobbits. Girl Hobbit is 7 now (I was there when she was born), and Boy Hobbit is 5 (I saw him when he was about a week old). Dinner was great and the kids are sooooo cute! It seems like every time Rose comes to Tulsa she brings a torrential down pour, this time was no exception.
I ran home to try to wake up Grant - no dice. All the while I was experiencing a severe case of cabin fever.Fortunately Kellie let me know that she was at Fox and Hound so I headed up there for a beer. As I was parking the sky began to once again open up - rain was pouring down in sheets. 1 beer in it was time to head home to wake up Grant and head over to Jocelyns to properly christen the new fire pit! It was a linguine, beer, wine, salad, and music kinda night. With the guys (and gal) from the band talking shop and Erin an I inhaling smores.. Then home to bed at 3AM.
Sunday was catchup day. It was nice to have a weekend with friends we don't see often, friends we do see more often, and family. I look forward to more of these!
Went to the after party at Rudz bar. Took some pics of me and a few ref friends, hailed a cab back to the hotel - and lost my camera. I called the cab every day to see if anyone had turned it in - no luck. I gave up. The camera I saved for is gone.
Some douche stole my poor misplaced camera.
Today I got this e-mail
From: carmen. geddit 10:48 AM (6 hours ago)
Hailey,
Is this your camera?
On Wed, Oct 15, 2008 at 10:01 AM, Elipse wrote:
To whom it may concern.
While I was cab hopping in Houston during Westerns I discovered someone left their camera in a cab. It's a nice Sony camera and there photos are mostly derby. I felt the invasion of privacy was warranted if I could get the camera back to it's owner. If you could put the word out to your league, perhaps someone is missing a camera. I took one shot off of it to see if anyone could identify these people for me.
I am so so Happy and so indebted to KCRW I just cannot say, I love these ladies!
As a wise Ref said at westerns "Every time you think you have had enough of derby that it just isn't giving you anything it does - at just the right time Derby gives back."
I paraphrased that a bit but I have had a few beers since then.
End result - faith in humanity has been renewed.
Battle Royale: 2008 WFTDA Western Regional Tournament
October 3-5, 2008
Verizon Wireless Theater, Houston, TX
GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!
Don't miss women's flat track roller derby at its finest! The top 12 fastest skating, hardest hitting teams in the western US (including the #1 and #2 nationally ranked teams) are battling for 4 spots at Northwest Knockdown, the 2008 WFTDA National Championship Tournament. Which teams will muscle and strategize their way to Nationals? 2008 has been the most exciting and surprising year of roller derby ever, so it's anybody's guess!
Teams
Seed 1 = KC Roller Warriors
Seed 2 = Rat City Rollergirls
Seed 3 = Texas Rollergirls
Seed 4 = B. ay A. rea D. erby Girls
Seed 5 = Rose City Rollers
Seed 6 = Rocky Mountain Rollergirls
Seed 7 = Tucson Roller Derby
Seed 8 = Pikes Peak Derby Dames
Seed 9 = Duke City Derby
Seed 10 = Dallas Derby Devils
Seed 11 = Houston Roller Derby
Seed 12 = Denver Roller Dolls
Official WFTDA rankings
Tickets
VIP (floor stage) 3 day ticket - $150.00
VIP (front row balcony) 3 day ticket - $100.00
General Admission 3 day ticket - $65.00
General Admission 1 day ticket - $25.00
20 pack of GA 1 day tickets - $20.00 each
BUY TICKETS
Other Upcoming Tournaments
Eastern Regionals -- Derby in Dairyland -- October 10-12, 2008 -- Veteran's Memorial Coliseum, Madison, WI
Nationals -- Northwest Knockdown -- November 14-16, 2008 -- Portland Expo Center, Portland, OR
One of my very good friends is in a band that released thier first full lenght CD under this name. It stuck with me.
Derby and I have always had a odd - and often strained relationship. Once again this is surfacing in my mind. This time with a feeling of acceptance. This is not to say that I am leaving derby nor that I desire to. Simply that my feelings may change. Too soon to tell. At this point I am noting the shift, nothing more. I suppose noting the change and sharing. Thanks for reading.
What a month - months.
After the server crashed at work, Grandma had open heart surgery, Grandma had a stroke, Cindy thought she had a heart attack, I took over merch, and all that. I just feel like I need a week on the beach to unwind. It has been a week of darting and dashing. Getting excited about regionals in October. Tho this is the first time in a long time I have doubted myself about my derby prepared-ness. I almost feel like a newbie ref. As usual that is all I have time to write. Maybe in the next month life will slow down a bit. I can hope any way.
wow, July is speeding by.
We spent the fourth at Grants parents riding 4 wheelers.
July 5 we took Grandma to the hospital after she fainted, Drs thought it was a vascovagel episode, no biggie. Cindy and I both have problems with that. More tests were done and we discovered that two arteries were at 99% blockage another at 45%. At this point it was decided that Grandma should have a triple bypass on top of the quadruple back in 1980.
Grants car window was busted out at work but nothing was taken.
My Great Uncle (Grandma's older brother) was admitted to St Johns for a stroke while Grandma was there. My lunch breaks and after work time have been spent darting to and from the hospital.
Back in June I sprained both my shoulders. As a result I have been off skates and lost all my endurance. Working on rebuilding that now for Ref certification.
October I will be reffing western regionals - DayGlo! will be there too! Just got invited to easterns today but my budget cant swing both. Bummer I would love to be there.
There was more but I think I have lost my mind and that is all that is left. Miss my friends as always.
Well, this blog thing is sucking here lately isn't it dear readers. I think it is safe to say my life just might be at last living on Tulsa Time.
Yes friends, in some ways life moves at a slower pace... however the family obligations are always 'round the bend. I have been doing my share of barn raising, vegetable gardening, and chopping down trees, well sort of. My parents new place has a barn, but the walls were rotting so Dad is re-doing it. Mom is planting a vegetable garden, I hope to get more out of it than just this sunburn. A few weeks ago we had some wicked wind that hit like 80mph sustained - we lost some limbs.
Marshall Brewing Co opened up at long last! I have tried all three of the beers that have been released so far. The sundown wheat is my favorite.
Grants work schedule has changed again. We are not at home at the same time as often now but we do get to see each other more so far that seems to be working well. Speaking of work I am now a employee of Nameplates Inc. And I did get a raise! As a result my hours at the rink have been cut back considerably.
Relay for life went well. I hit my $300 goal and feel pretty good about that! Thanks to all my Friends and family that made that possible. GCRG had a great time and we were able to help fight the fight against cancer.
Tomorrow I will be attending a contest at the Historic Cains Ballroom to cheer on my best friend of 26 years as she sings her heart out. Not only does she sing but she colors my hair any time I get the urge!
Oh and I should be back on skates in another week! My shoulder is almost fully recovered!
It is now time for me to prepare for another work day. But I will leave you with this.
Come visit me. I promise a sunset you cant find any where else on land.
May was a busy busy month for me.
May 3 GCRG loaded up the van and headed for Austin to play against a home team of the TXRG. For my friends not in derby that read this TXRG is where modern flat track derby started. The trip proved to be a lesson and GCRG is happy to have that under thier helmet.
After Austin was the Thunder Dollz Bout.
You might hear a familiar voice in there some where.
In their first full length bout Thunder Dollz came out on top of CORDA (Central Oklahoma Roller Derby).
Last weekend was my best friends wedding and then off to Wisconsin for BrewCon a weekend filled with derby education galore as well as a drink or 2.
This weekend finds us celebrating Mom's birthday and the last All Stars bout of the home season. After June 6 which is Relay For Life I will have the summer mostly free to do fun stuff.
Recently both of what I like to call 'my' leagues have received flack for large margin victories. Sunday, February 10, 2008 Final score: CARD 17 - GCRG 209 and more recently Dominion becomes the first team to break 300 points in a WFTDA regulation game and Long Island is held to only 6 points while being completely shut out in the second half. Dominion wins by 301 points, 307-6.
I consider both these leagues mine because Dominion is the place where I learned the game, learned how to skate with derby girls, and learned to love the sport. Dominion will always hold a special place in my heart for this and so many other reasons more. Green Country is also mine. It is my hometown team and the ladies are just wonderful.
A common bond that both leagues share is the manners they use both on and off the track. Both leagues strictly renounce fighting. More over the reason I love both leagues is the way they treat their opponents. When either team is a visiting league they are grateful to their host. Do not cause a mess. And have a great time - no matter the out come. Also when a team visits they go out of the way to make the team feel at home, wanted, and respected. In no way would either league belittle a opponent for a loss. In sports there is always a winner and a looser. What counts is what we learn each time, win or loose.
In a sport that has so many misconceptions I am proud to say that one thing these women have is a heart that knows no end. These women volunteer in the community, take great care to always shed a positive light on roller derby and most importantly treat themselves with respect.
Where have I been? Whatever became of me? You may wonder. So do I. Funny how time slips away. A week of nonstop adventure in Utah with senior son, his wife, and their two children, left little time for writing or reflection. And then closing down my house and studio there, traveling to Seattle via Grand Junction, Colorado, and Salt Lake City, only to arrive in the noise and traffic of the city and stand dismayed before a desk piled high with mundane busyness demanding my immediate attention - well, it’s daunting and disheartening and depressing. Instant stress. Avoidance and denial kick in. Can’t just turn around and go back to the mountains. Can’t deal with the pile. So I went for a walk . . .
Once again I am at a brick wall. I feel like I need something to fill up an emptiness that is lingering and tugging at the back of my mind. Maybe this calls for a bit more destination reading. That would be nice, but my allergies are on a war path and the Great Out Doors is causing me to struggle to breathe.
At the moment I am living my life on vibrate. This means I am avoiding most unplesant-ness. So much is happening. Alli's Bridal Shower this Sunday. Austin May 3. Parents Move May 5. Derby Fundraiser somewhere in there. All Night Skate May 16. Roller Derby May 18. Alli gets hitched May 23. Brew-con May 24-26. Schools Out Bout June 1. Relay for Life June 6.
I find myself craving a weekend that is just mine. No obligations. Mine.
A weekend where I can sleep late. Go to a park or Zoo. Have no one expecting me to be anywhere or do anything. Mine.
After I get off Friday Night I might just do that. Disappear. Sweet Relief. Don't Call. I wont be there. Rest assured I will return the following Monday. Possibly with a better outlook on life.
I knindof fell off the edge of the earth. No major reasons for that.
The Vega is now running and re-carpeted. I love that car. I have come to the conclusion that you either love this car or don't understand those that do. She is a rarity. As a matter of fact the ref's had a photo shoot, and our photo was taken with her. I haven't seen them yet, but knowing Kirk and his eye for photography. I have high expectations.
N Fur Action and I attended the NWARG / BERG bout in Arkansas and then we had our own bout Sunday BERG / GCRG. I am working on a recap at the moment. The after party gave me a opportunity to line dance (easily one of my favorite past times). Still waiting on photos to surface, but life is good. It is rainy season in OK and the weather is ideal for sleep. It is good to be home.
Got a message last week inviting me to ref at the WFTDA Western Regional Tournament hosted by the Houston Roller Derby in Houston, TX October 3 to 5, 2008. It's kind of a big deal. Last year Nigel Toughnails of DDG (now CRG) fame and my mentor was invited to ref Heartland Havoc. HH as it is known amongst the derby community was the 2007 eastern regional tournament.
I have to say it was a surprise to be invited. Less than 20 refs across the nation are invited. I am thrilled with this opportunity and what it means for the Green Country Roller Derby family. I promise to represent Green Country Roller Girls with pride.
so much in my head so little sentences.
-desperately missing my VA friends
-being a only child makes me feel like the weight of my families happiness rests on my shoulders
-I have never taken on so much responsibility in my life let alone from so many places
-I rarely see my husband since we work opposite shifts, 10 min a day is not enough.
-I wish I had a sibling or 2 to talk to
-moving home is way harder than I thought, it feels more like coming home from deployment (I imagine)
-Were it not for the ladies in Roller Derby I think I would have lost my mind months ago
-it is like my friends from my past want nothing to do with me, I don't understand and it hurts.
-I am tired all the time
-I keep myself busy all the time so I dont think too much
I don't know why I am putting this on the web, maybe just to get it out of my head so I can sleep peacefully. That would be nice.
something, something is brewing behind the curtains. I cannot share just yet, but soon expect a bit of news. And no I am not preggers, quit asking that stupid question. Oh and I hit 27 today. As GCRG derby girl Severe Lisa Distik stated to me today:
Happy Birthday Hailey. Now's a good time to start mentally preparing yourself for Three Oh.
Seriously.
I still haven't recovered and I'm not even that fragile. People don't tell you about these things.
You're welcome.
So I guess that is like a 3 year resolution to hit the list.
-PS to all the phone calls, txt mssgs and such thanks. I am not ignoring you this birthday just seems to have brought out the melancholy in me.
Oh, and I attended church in Morris today. It was great. The new pastor is not a fuck-wit like the last one. This one has a brain and a open mind, who knew?!
Posts
