End of the month at work.

Inspections at work.

House cleaning and prepping for visitors.

House guests.

Band DRIVEBY SONATA has the show Tonight.

On top of this Senator Kennedy passed. I finished a book by a Author I enjoy (Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner).

Oddly enough this particular book by Jennifer Weiner was not as light as typically expect from her it is almost like when I went to see Pixars 'Up'. Between this, the death of senator Kennedy I have experienced a exceptionally weepy week.

To say this is uncommon for me is a severe understatement. I am not a sap or crier.

I have no idea what brought this on. But here it is.

Tonight is Grant's show. I have battery's charging and am very much looking foward to a eventful evening.

This weekend Grant and 'bino took part in the Tulsa Mud Run (eww).

I think at this point the boys may have gotten all the mud out of every nook and cranny in their body.

Gotta say even tho I did not run, I got muddy too. Mud was flying everywhere! The boys did have a good time and all proceeds went to the firefighter burn unit. This day marked 10 days since Grant quit smoking a 1/2 pack a day. Now he is a running machine! I would rather have a muddy husband than a chain smoking husband any day! Hooray for quitting smoking! I am so proud of Grant!

and no, I am STILL not pregnant.

Grant went to see the cardiologist. In short with out making drastic changes to our life Grant will likely be dead before he turns 40. At the end of his 20's this is a priority. I would like to keep him around for awhile.

What does this mean?

Reducing our salt intake - this is not a big problem in our house. We use pepper, not salt.

Grant MUST quit smoking. Ultimately this is in his ball park. I cannot help or control this in any way. I am at a loss as to whether to cheer him on in this endeavor or to simply keep my trap shut. From past experience we know this will make him irritable. This will be taxing on the both of us.

Daily monitoring his blood pressure in conjunction with blood pressure medication he will be on for a very long time.

Exercise. Not the silly iron pumping tan and jacked kind. The get moving and get your heart healthy kind.

Ultimately I am hopeful that this will end with both of us in a much healthier life pattern.

Driveby Sonata will be taking the stage for the first time since the reorganization. You have listened to them on Z104.5 the edge. You have the Homegroan Album. Now it is time to see them live! See Driveby Sonata, My Solstice, A Good Fight, and Hector at Tulsa’s own Marquee Aug 28!


Tickets available at Starship and www.ticketstorm.com

7 deadly sins?
7-Up?
7 pounds?
7-11?

Nope, 7 years.




7 years ago at about this time I was walked down the aisle by my Uncle Richard Allen. A brief ceremony began, followed by a lighthearted reception.



And it was time to start a new chapter. The wedding was over, I was married.



No regrets, everything has happened for a reason. The bad times have made us stronger. The good times would never be traded for anything.

I am of the firm opinion that having a cold in the winter is far better than having a cold in the summer. The summer heat mixed with a stuffy nose just plain sucks.

Lucky for Grant and I we are in the process of dealing with this monster.

Cold meds do weird things to me. Dayquil makes me feel like a zombie, I type EVERYTHING wrong on the first try. I am dizzy, and just generally BLAH.

And to put the icing on my week the transmission in Grants car is failing to engage. So last night I was out in the hot garage trying to deal with that. Today will be more of the same.

bah humbug.

and no, I am not pregnant.



Grants band Drive By Sonata has been selected to be on the 2009 Edge Tulsa Homegroan Album as track #3. w00t!

Really, I do.

Husbands are a curious lot. Days pass where you simply want to throttle them for one reason or another. You never stop loving them, often you find the term 'what the hell' dashing across your mind interchangeable from positive to negative. Still they manage to catch you off guard - cause a pause, even a smile.

Yesterday was a prime example.

G rented a movie. Watched it with out me. Called to let me know it was there and that I was welcome to watch. He was concerned about me watching it. Not for graphic or vulgar content. His concern was grounded in my intense fear of needles. Evidently the movie has some lengthy shots of injections. My best guess is he was worried I would pass out and no one would be there to care for me. I felt so loved in that moment, so grateful he is my husband. I love my husband, really I do.

Last night after work I went straight home.

Grant went out side to water the plants and check the peppers. While he did that I fed the Turtles and the plecostomus. The turtles are red eared sliders and I have named them Pinky and the Brain. Pinky is the little light green active turtle. The Brain is larger and less active. The Plecostomus is named Clossamer.

As we watched the turtles swimming in the pond and eating we both settled in on the hammock for a hour and a half to talk and relax. The gentle sounds of the waterfall were a nice tempo. As we were lying there we saw a dove, a few finches, and could even hear a Owl. It was such a peaceful relaxing way to unwind. This is what I have been missing and have been needing.

The past few weeks have brought on some unexpected changes, a sense of calm almost serenity.

Over Memorial weekend I went with Jocelyn to DFW. While there we took Ayla and Matt (my baby brother) to Six Flags over Texas.

For those of you reading who do have siblings and were fortunate to grow up with them in your life, please consider your selves lucky. To see my brother is a rare treat, and this time in TX is the longest I have spent with him in 15 years. We were together 14 consecutive hours! The time we spent together was just so fun. When we took Matt home I had the chance to sit and talk with Susan (Matt's mom and my first step mom). At the age I am now I can see just how much having Susan in my life made me the person I am today.

I have never wanted to force a relationship with me on Matt. Ultimately I have just wanted him to be happy. We share such a demented and complicated father that I am grateful Matt only has a single memory of him. All along I have wanted to prevent Matt from having the same tumultuous childhood I had.

Next week my baby brother will turn 16. I hope our relationship will grow stronger over time. I hope he can understand why I have kept my distance.

Since seeing Matt and Susan I feel more certain of the path I have made for myself. I feel more assured of where we (Grant and I) are going. Grant will be going back to school in the fall, and we will be just fine.

My last bout as a roller derby ref was last night. It was time, I have no regrets. I was informed that I am not needed at the rink over the summer. This is opening me up for more time with my Grandma, for which I am grateful. This gives me more time for Grant, My friends, and My family. More over this is giving Grant a chance to finish his education, and me the time to assist in any way I can. At last I feel like I can return to being me.

Ahh the title of the song I sang and danced to in the musical OKLAHOMA my senior year. I have always considered myself from the cowman camp. But this year we are trying something new.

Grant and I are farmers, ok not farmers. Gardner's and that is gardner's with a little 'g'. Looks like this year at our house we will have 4 tomatoes (Cherokee Purple, Brandy wine, Chocolate Cherry, and Early Girl) and at least one Habenaro (chocolate habanero). And I am giving it a shot with the topsy turvy planter. Now since I have planted all heirloom tomatoes they must be planted 10' apart, best solution I could come up with was hanging them on the death trap that doubles as a fort in our back yard.

Last year I gardened (also with a little 'g') but it was only a beef steak and grape tomato. Both of which I planted in the shade. Grant wanted nothing to do with my tomatoes last year. He promptly declared I was going to kill them and that this was a bad idea. I only got about 10 tomatoes total off the both of them. Hopefully that will work out better this year!

This year in addition to the small gardening we are doing at our house mom has put in a large Garden at her house. Notice Garden with a big 'G'. She has onions, peas, tomatoes, lettuce, squash, okra, green beans, water melon, and peppers. I am sure I will do most of the looking after of her Garden as well.

If you are gardening as well I would love to hear about it. I believe more people are gardening this year than ever before in my lifetime. But for now I will leave you with some Aunt Eller wisdom.

I don't say I'm better than anybody else,
But I'll be danged if I ain't just as good!
-Aunt Eller

When I first got married snoring was more than a cute habit. It was a nuisance.

After Grant joined the Navy soring became a event to look forward to. Snoring meant he was home, he was safe. Now here we are almost 7 years married. Now snoring means more. He is home, with me and we are happy and comfortable enough with each other to not mind the little things any more. In a way snoring is like a lullaby (on the rare instance when we are in bed at the same time).

So this is Christmas
And what have you done?
Another year over
And a new one just begun

And so this is Christmas
I hope you have (had) fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young.

A very Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear

John Lennon sums it up for me - in a whirl wind of a fall/winter of 2008 it seems so hard for me to see this as the Holiday season. I only sent 2 Christmas Cards: to my Aunt Cindy January 2008, and my Aunt Stella July 2008. That is it.

Grant is still working odd hours and I am still working 2 jobs. In addition to helping Grandma on Sundays. So we dont get nearly enough together time.

I am attempting to scale back my derby commitments.

Were it not for Erin and Jocelyn and our Wednesdays I do not know how I would have made it this far. Erin is by far the most consistent friend a person could ask for and when times get tough I know no matter where she is, what she is doing or who she is with that she will always care and be there for me. Jocelyn is a newer friend to me, we attended many of the same schools and had so many of the same friends it is odd we never really met. She and her hubby have been a essential part of my life here in OK I just count my blessings to have these two phenomenal women as my friends - warts and all (HAHAHA).

Looking back over the year it seems as if I have been in survival mode. I am hoping that this will ease in 2009. I simply cannot continue at this rate.

Grandma's heart trouble and stroke seem to be the straw that broke the back of this old camel.

To everyone who has called / emailed / written etc. I am sorry I have not returned the correspondence. It does mean a great deal to me. It just seems that there is not enough time in the day to catch a breath let alone to correspond.

Well, this blog thing is sucking here lately isn't it dear readers. I think it is safe to say my life just might be at last living on Tulsa Time.



Yes friends, in some ways life moves at a slower pace... however the family obligations are always 'round the bend. I have been doing my share of barn raising, vegetable gardening, and chopping down trees, well sort of. My parents new place has a barn, but the walls were rotting so Dad is re-doing it. Mom is planting a vegetable garden, I hope to get more out of it than just this sunburn. A few weeks ago we had some wicked wind that hit like 80mph sustained - we lost some limbs.

Marshall Brewing Co opened up at long last! I have tried all three of the beers that have been released so far. The sundown wheat is my favorite.

Grants work schedule has changed again. We are not at home at the same time as often now but we do get to see each other more so far that seems to be working well. Speaking of work I am now a employee of Nameplates Inc. And I did get a raise! As a result my hours at the rink have been cut back considerably.

Relay for life went well. I hit my $300 goal and feel pretty good about that! Thanks to all my Friends and family that made that possible. GCRG had a great time and we were able to help fight the fight against cancer.

Tomorrow I will be attending a contest at the Historic Cains Ballroom to cheer on my best friend of 26 years as she sings her heart out. Not only does she sing but she colors my hair any time I get the urge!

Oh and I should be back on skates in another week! My shoulder is almost fully recovered!


It is now time for me to prepare for another work day. But I will leave you with this.



Come visit me. I promise a sunset you cant find any where else on land.

Sunday, August 19, 2007
When it rains it pours.

My Brother in law was attacked late Friday Night. 7 males attacked him while he was alone. They knocked him unconscious and dropped a 50 lb chunk of concrete on his head. Then they left him lying in the middle of a dark highway. Staci and his two daughters ages 5 and 2 found him lying in the road unconscious. Amazingly enough he has skull fractures and 4 stitches. No brain damage that has been found as of yet. Please keep him in your thoughts. Saturday the Indian hospital in Claremore released Paul after saying he had a fractured skull. Staci said Paul is covered with bruises and scratches from when the 7 drug his body to the highway. Paul is in St Francis with contusions on the back of the brain. His wife Staci forced him to go after he was vomiting blood.


Today April 4, 2008

Today Grant attended court in Wagoner County with Paul and Staci. The only adult in the pack of 7 that attacked him was due in court today. He plead out before proceedings started. He is pleading guilty to assault and battery. No word as of yet what this sentence will entail.

Hopefully once all the legalities have ended Paul and his family will be able to put this behind them. In any case we are now one step closer. Thank you all for your prayers and concern. We are drawing this chapter to a close.

so much in my head so little sentences.

-desperately missing my VA friends
-being a only child makes me feel like the weight of my families happiness rests on my shoulders
-I have never taken on so much responsibility in my life let alone from so many places
-I rarely see my husband since we work opposite shifts, 10 min a day is not enough.
-I wish I had a sibling or 2 to talk to
-moving home is way harder than I thought, it feels more like coming home from deployment (I imagine)
-Were it not for the ladies in Roller Derby I think I would have lost my mind months ago
-it is like my friends from my past want nothing to do with me, I don't understand and it hurts.
-I am tired all the time
-I keep myself busy all the time so I dont think too much

I don't know why I am putting this on the web, maybe just to get it out of my head so I can sleep peacefully. That would be nice.

Grant is now officialy a civilian as of 1-09-08!

6 years ago today Grant enlisted in the Navy. I called to tell him to turn on the TV. He declared he had to do somthing about this and off he went. I could not reach him all day. It was a day of terror and uncertainty. When I found him he had enlisted.

Now here we are today.

Grant is in Oklahoma far far away from the Navy. Trying to find a secure job. Trying to find a place to live. How ironic is it that changes that took place 6 years ago are being reversed on the same day?

Home for interviews that is!

I am sure my friends have heard me complaining constantly for the past 2+ months since the investigation started that he is ALWAYS home.

If you have never lived the military life this makes little sense. But for my entire marriage he has been gone at least 70% of the year each year. I got used to the time he was gone. Stockpiled my chick flicks and chick tv for the times he was away. All the things I do purely for my entertainment were gone! It has been a bit disorienting. This has caused some tension at home. So the week and a half that he is in OK looking for a job will allow me to take care of a few last minute chick type things.

He will be interviewing at COX and KOTV.

It still has not hit us that we will be home in just a little over 2 months. It's crazy.

On the 22nd I will be in Boston Reffing the DDG v. Boston Derby Dames

The 30th is our Championship Bout.

I cant believe I will be home for the holidays, for good.

My friend Jess had her baby. Sebastian Nickolai.

Paul is home from the hospital and for once the law enforcement is doing something about this terror. So I am refraining from giving more info.

Grant is getting ready to enter the civilian world.

----------------------------

As for the mess that resulted with our desire to escape the Military life I am going to try to put pen to paper and tell you how I felt.


It was a routine polygraph. No big deal. Then Grant did not come home till late. He had other people with him.

They came into my home. They handled EVERYTHING I own. And when I say everything I mean it. Closets were a mess, they went thru boxes I had not opened since I moved out of my parents home. My dresser drawers looked like they had been in the mixer. I cannot begin to tell you the level of violation I felt. They looked at my photos and negatives, read my journals. Every piece of privacy out of my head was exposed.

Searched our cars and storage unit in front of neighbors.

All in the name of national security.

In this respect I will say my husband is taking a better attitude. These circumstances to me seem to go against everything I ever thought America stood for. It hurts. I have made no secret of what I think of politics and the current regime. This has only served to solidify my opinion. We are being kept in the dark all for cooperating with them.

I am so ready for this to be over. I am tired of the uncertainty.

Friends, Family. We are coming home. Maybe not to Oklahoma but to a state that borders it at least. We love the weather too much. If this month has shown us anything it is that family needs us close. Grandparents are not growing younger and healthier. Neices and nephews need a uncle and aunt. Our Aunts and Uncles need our help. And our families need us there to help make the family strong. So, yeah. Momma I'm coming home.